They Should Have Stayed at White Castle

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
Directed by Jon Hurwitz & Hayden Schlossberg
New Line Cinema



Sequels are pretty touch and go as far as I am concerned. Most of them are usually not all that impressive, and by that I mean that they suck hard enough to pull a bowling ball through a length of copper pipe. Occasionally, though, Hollywood gets it right. Aliens, Spider Man 2, The Empire Strikes Back, and just about every Harry Potter sequel are all examples of films that managed to be as good at, and in some cases even top, the original films. Unfortunately, Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay cannot be counted among these films.

In the film’s predecessor, Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, we followed the exploits of the title characters as they attempted to navigate the night and get themselves some greasy sliders from an elusive fast food franchise. Picking up where they left off, Harold (John Cho, American Pie) and Kumar (Kal Penn, Superman, House) board a plane to Amsterdam in search of Maria, Harold’s hot new crush.



Naturally, getting there uneventfully would be a little too simple, so things quickly go awry for our heroes. Soon after the plane takes off, Kumar decides to try his own spin on joining the Mile High club by getting stoned on the plane using his new patented smokeless bong. Unfortunately, his ingenious device looks a little too much like a homemade bomb and he and Harold are mistaken for terrorist and apprehended by air marshals.

Enter Rob Fox (Rob Corddry, The Daily Show), a middle management idiot from The Department of Homeland Security, who sends the boys to Guantanamo Bay Prison in Cuba. As the title suggests, Harold and Kumar quickly escape and what follows is 90 minutes of us following them as they run into all sorts of troublesome situations in a quest to clear their names. To make things more interesting, Fox is hot on their heels, despite his obvious incompetence.



Now, I was a fan of the first film and had some hope that this film would at least live up to its memory. Unfortunately, most of the film fell flat, mainly due to what I see as the writers’ attempt to constantly top themselves. Everything that I loved about the first film was taken to the nth power here, creating a series of caricatures and parodies, and I am not so sure that’s what the filmmakers intended.

At the end of the first film, Harold had found his confidence and had gotten the guts to not only stand up to his bullying coworkers but also plant a kiss on the hot babe from his apartment building. In this film, all that quickly goes away as he once again becomes a whining coward in order to gain back the confidence at the end of the film.

Kumar, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to have learned anything as his actions continually cause more and more serious trouble for the pair. In an attempt to add more depth to his character, they add a subplot about his ex-girlfriend getting married to a handsome, successful guy. Unfortunately, this simply telegraphs the ending and makes it obvious where we will be when the credits roll. Have you figured it out yet? I bet you have!

There’s one thing that really bothers me about films like this. I am so sick of the dynamic of “the selfish friend causing huge problems for the straight-laced friend.” Not only is this whole concept done to death (Kevin Smith did it best in Clerks and Clerks 2), it’s entirely unrealistic. If I had a friend like Kumar, I can guarantee that he’d have had his teeth kicked after the first time he screwed me over. At that point, we’d no longer be friends. In this film, Harold’s life is ruined repeatedly by Kumar and, yet, they remain best buds. Does every buddy comedy have to call upon these stereotypes to try to make a funny film? Shoot me now if they do.



Admittedly, there are a few chuckles floating around in this sea of ridiculousness. Neil Patrick Harris returns as himself to help the guys find their way to a brothel. Christopher Meloni, (Law and Order: SVU) who was the funniest guy in the first film, is also back in a cameo role as a KKK Grand Wizard. If I laughed at all during the two hours I was in the theatre, it was at these guys.

The plot is contrived, the characters are shells of their former selves, and the laughs come from bit players. All in all, I’d have to say that this film did little more than disappoint. If you are looking for comedic gold, look somewhere else. If you want a film to treat you to tons of toilet humor, some nudity, and flat performances, then, by all means, check out Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. If you actually want to be entertained, go rent the first film.



Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay is now in theatres.